A Body Warrior to Meet: Bonnie and The Shape of a Mother

August 4, 2008

A few months ago, I discovered a very cool web-site:  The Shape of a Mother.  The creator of that web-site, Bonnie, is today’s body warrior.  With The Shape of a Mother, she created a community where women of all backgrounds and sizes can go to share images of their bodies so that they can realize how very normal their bodies are.  It’s really an amazing site- and an amazing mission.  I am happy to introduce you today to both Bonnie and The Shape of a Mother. 

    

 

What I love about myself:  My sense of humor.  I have come so very far from who I used to be, I don’t even recognize my old self anymore.  And I like my new self much better.


My biggest challenge in accepting my body and beauty: Lifelong lessons in How To Hate Oneself.  It was also difficult to find my place in society based upon the set of numbers I was given.  When I was in high school (and not overweight at all!) I weighed 160 which is 40 pounds more than society told me I was “supposed” to weigh.  I was in the largest size in Charlotte Russe when I was only 12 – again not overweight at all.  The numbers they throw at you have absolutely nothing to do with reality and that alienated me with disastrous results.

My biggest support in learning to appreciate myself:  The deep need I feel to give my daughter a better chance than I had.  That is where everything else is rooted and it has truly forced me to heal myself in ways I never imagined before.  Working on The Shape of a Mother daily has sped up that process so that I have (almost totally) healed a lifetime of hurt in only the last two years.

Beauty is: where you look for it.  Everywhere.

 

Why I am strong: I have been through so very much in my life.  And yet, I did not break from it.  Somehow.  So here I am and, as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  And I am so very much alive.

 Why I am beautiful: Because I am me. 

 What women must know:    Well, to be honest this is such a tough question.  How can I give all the world’s wisdom to women here when I know only such a small percentage of it?  I think the most important thing I have learned is to NEVER lie to myself.  Once I admit the truth to myself – even if to no one else – I hold all possibilities of healing and strength in my hands.

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What does it mean to be beautiful in America? For years, pop culture has insisted that beautiful women are tall, thin, and blonde. So what do you do if your mirror reflects olive skin, raven hair, and a short build? Hijas Americanas: Beauty, Body Image, and Growing Up Latina offers a provocative account of the struggles and triumphs of Latina forced to reconcile these conflicting realities. Rosie Molinary combines her own experience with the voices of hundreds of Latinas who grew up in the US navigating issues of gender, image, and sexuality. This empathetic ethnography exemplifies the ways in which our experiences are both profoundly individualistic and comfortingly universal.

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